I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
