oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
