So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
