She's JV to your varsity
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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