I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
honey bunches of taint.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
