I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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