i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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