hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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