so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
