This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My ATM looks so different sober.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am one with the molecules
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
