Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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