So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i think my cat just said my name.
Is Oprah even human
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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