she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
