Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Found your dick twin last night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
