We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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