Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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