on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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