covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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