I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
