I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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