Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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