whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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