We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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