I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
