drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
