i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
