I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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