i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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