Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
