And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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