there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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