Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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