u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
