ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
