so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
