last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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