i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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