it wasn't lemon gatorade
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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