R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
