I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
