shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
