is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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