if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
