i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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