Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
