I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you traded sex for a burrito?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
