Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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