Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
