he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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