Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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