My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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