you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
