But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We are two peas in an std pod
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
