I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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