You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i now understand why vodka
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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