OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
